I am a part of all that I have met. Tho much is taken, much abides. And tho that which we are, we are, one equal temper of heroic hearts, strong in will, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Saying Goodbye
My father died on July 12, 2009. Not my dad, not my Pop nor my Daddy, but my Father.
I verbally said the words "goodbye" to him about 10 years ago when he was sick in the hospital and not expected to live much longer. I told him I loved him and said goodbye.
He died sitting on the toilet draining the tubes that kept his alcoholic body alive.
There are times during our lives when we have to say goodbye to someone we love because it's time to love ourselves.
My father died on July 12, 2009.
I verbally said the words "goodbye" to him about 10 years ago when he was sick in the hospital and not expected to live much longer. I told him I loved him and said goodbye.
He died sitting on the toilet draining the tubes that kept his alcoholic body alive.
There are times during our lives when we have to say goodbye to someone we love because it's time to love ourselves.
My father died on July 12, 2009.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
You Are A Survivor
What is the essence of a true survivor? What are the internal battles waged between hope and fear, correct action and flailing, reason and despair?
All survivors go through some spiritual journey and psychological transformation when pushed in the place that only survivors understand.
As a survivor of physical abuse, emotional trauma and extended extreme physical pain I have often wondered why rational people do inexplicable things to get themselves killed against all advice or reason. A perfectly sensible man warned not to go up a snow covered mountain on his snowmobile because it will cause a fatal avalanche goes anyway and dies. I have always been interested in the mysterious force that produces such mad behavior in my fellow human beings. Maybe since my life has always been about survival I can't truly understand the rush that one must feel while tempting fate. I don't tempt fate.
My prayer as I enter into the third chapter of my life is that these last years won't have to be about survival. The life I have been afforded should allow me to let down my guard, but the mind is a mighty fortress and the lessons I have learned about survival are hard wired and I imagine will be with me all the days of my life. I am safe now, but the messages of danger keep coming and I wage a daily battle with what used to be and what is.
The first survival lesson we all learn is to remain calm, don't panic. For that very reason, emotions are called "hot cognitions", so stay cool. Remember the fight or flight theory?
And let's face facts, survivors aren't immune to fear, they know what's happening and it scares them. It's all about what we do next.
Survivors move their feet, even in the face of adversity. They don't become frozen with fear as many people do when faced with grave danger. And for many survivors of domestic violence or other domestic abuse it can take a very long time and a lot of support to gain the courage to begin moving your feet, but please remember that baby steps count. You are no less a survivor than the perfectly sensible man who does irrational things in the face of danger and walks away.
I became a survivor when I stopped describing myself as a victim. I was no longer a victim of violent crime, I was a survivor of violent crime. There is power in those words. Because in those words alone I found the strength I needed to move my feet. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. Now take those baby steps, you are not alone.
All survivors go through some spiritual journey and psychological transformation when pushed in the place that only survivors understand.
As a survivor of physical abuse, emotional trauma and extended extreme physical pain I have often wondered why rational people do inexplicable things to get themselves killed against all advice or reason. A perfectly sensible man warned not to go up a snow covered mountain on his snowmobile because it will cause a fatal avalanche goes anyway and dies. I have always been interested in the mysterious force that produces such mad behavior in my fellow human beings. Maybe since my life has always been about survival I can't truly understand the rush that one must feel while tempting fate. I don't tempt fate.
My prayer as I enter into the third chapter of my life is that these last years won't have to be about survival. The life I have been afforded should allow me to let down my guard, but the mind is a mighty fortress and the lessons I have learned about survival are hard wired and I imagine will be with me all the days of my life. I am safe now, but the messages of danger keep coming and I wage a daily battle with what used to be and what is.
The first survival lesson we all learn is to remain calm, don't panic. For that very reason, emotions are called "hot cognitions", so stay cool. Remember the fight or flight theory?
And let's face facts, survivors aren't immune to fear, they know what's happening and it scares them. It's all about what we do next.
Survivors move their feet, even in the face of adversity. They don't become frozen with fear as many people do when faced with grave danger. And for many survivors of domestic violence or other domestic abuse it can take a very long time and a lot of support to gain the courage to begin moving your feet, but please remember that baby steps count. You are no less a survivor than the perfectly sensible man who does irrational things in the face of danger and walks away.
I became a survivor when I stopped describing myself as a victim. I was no longer a victim of violent crime, I was a survivor of violent crime. There is power in those words. Because in those words alone I found the strength I needed to move my feet. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. Now take those baby steps, you are not alone.
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