Fear of Abandonment

Do you ever worry about being an outcast or being rejected by your tribe? Do you worry about being thrown to the wolves, under the bus, left out in the cold or whatever your favorite cliche for abandonment is? In some tribes abandonment is the ultimate, most terrifying punishment of all. If you are exiled from an aboriginal tribe to the wilderness, you're as good as dead.

Now, we are modern people, right? We live in the suburbs,cities and even if we live in the rural areas there are no monsters hiding, waiting to devour us. Even if we are rejected by everyone we know, parents, friends, lovers, we could go somewhere else. But so many times we don't. We stay in destructive relationships and dead-end jobs because of our fear of abandonment. Loneliness for many equals death. Being without others can be lonely. But we need to be okay being alone before we are complete.

You can toe the line at work and get the benefits, and retirement security. You probably won't get a pink slip that way. People who go their own way usually don't find support at the beginning, but become a millionaire with your far-fetched ideas and in spite of cultural limitations, then everyone jumps on the admiration bandwagon.

What are you afraid of? Abandonment? Be true to yourself and start your own tribe.

Unfamiliar places will become familiar. You will make new friends. You will get a new job. You can leave an abusive husband. There is someone to stand with you. You can do it.

Dreams

It's not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow older, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Remembering Your Dreams

Here you are midway through your life. Your conversation has become boring. You've got a family, a mortgage and a job as a dentist (insert your job here).

A long time ago you had a dream about the way you wanted your life to be. Maybe you wanted to be a sculpture or a painter. Maybe you wanted to learn to speak German or become an electrician. Maybe you don't even remember your dream. My guess is that if you had that dream 20 years ago you probably still have remnants of that dream tucked away in the garage or attic. It might be a box of books or a can of brushes. I will suggest that you find that box and reread those books, or buy a canvas and dust off those brushes and paint.

For some of us recovering our old dreams can be scary especially when our current lifestyle has left us disillusioned. We may have to admit to ourselves that we never wanted to be a dentist at all, you wanted to a sculptor or a painter or an electrician.


My challenge to you would be to find ways to slowly integrate your dream into your life. Read your books, buy a little clay, take a class to learn how to speak German or whatever you remember your dream to be. You will stand a little taller, feel a little more proud, a bit more interesting and a few steps closer to your dream.

Screech Owl

Hawk Ridge Observatory Duluth

The fall migration has begun over Hawk Ridge in Duluth. The Broadwing Hawk, Bald Eagles, Ospreys, Sharp Shinned Hawks and many more migratory birds have started their journey to warmer places. Many of these migrating birds make complete migrations to Central and South America. Hawk Ridge is at the southern most tip of Lake Superior. These birds do not like to fly over open water and can catch the warm thermals of air in this area. For each vertical mile they can ride on a warm thermal of air they can soar seven miles without flapping their wings. Huge numbers can be seen between mid September and the end of October. There are volunteers to help and many social events. Check it out. This heals me. http://wwwhawkridge.org

Jokes to Make You Laugh

Sometimes we need a good laugh.

• What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
• What's the difference between between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal of the front along with..."a recipe".
• What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.
• What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
• Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.
• What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
• What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.
• How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Something to offend everyone. Maybe you found something here to make you smile. Pass it on if you did. Happy Trails.

Reflection

Reflection

I walk around in circles

crazy and ready for flight.

Holding on and staying true

living with all my might...

Holding on to the woman who's strong,

not the one crouching low.

Holding on to the woman who's smart

and is beginning to glow.

The me I've become is much different

than the me that used to be...

holding my chin a little higher

smiling back at the reflection of me.

Maybe you don't realize

how confused I've been inside.

Against the wind for all my life

and yet I will not hide.

I will move forward,

my eyes fixed on the goal.

This journey, this life, this heart,

this soul.

ks 2001