Lost in Pain

I have been lost in my pain.  The world is so much bigger than me and my pain.  While i have been a victim, I have victimized others.  Not in the same way, but through my pain I have failed to see the delicate sweetness of the day. I have seen the grand beauty, the magnificent sunrise and the beautiful field of flowers on a glorious spring day but the soft moments, the gentle exchanges between others that i love have been lost to me.  These moments, these exchanges would have enriched my life if i had been able to see them, hear them. I was lost in my pain and closed off.  I feel a deep sense of sorrow now. There was judgement where there should be no judgement.  When i am quiet…the lessons begin.

Relationships

I want to truly enjoy my life and in order to do that there are things in my life that i need to eliminate all together.  There are relationships that i have put on hold that need to be nurtured and respected.  There are people in my life that i need to take a step away from.  There will be relationships that i need to terminate.  I need to widen my circle of wise women, warrior women.  I want to be comfortable in my own skin no matter how much i weigh, how colorful i choose to be or how i choose to dress. I need to make my own decisions and not allow anyone else to make those decisions for me.  i know what is best for me. I will no longer be defined as a victim, but as a survivor, a thriver in all things.

Self Healing

Too often, those who make many changes in there life and expect self-healing feel like failures if there diseases don't disappear.  But why do we do that to ourselves.  Who knows what the Universe has planned for us.  How can we know what lessons we are to learn while on this planet and what challenges we will face to learn those lessons.  Perhaps some of us are meant to be sick so we can learn what our soul longs to learn and model how to weather illness with grace. The grace comes in fighting until it's time to stop fighting and appreciating every step of the journey, even when it doesn't go our way.  Whether or not you are cured you will be healed and your healing will offer a healing to others.